Name: John Plumptre
Flavor of Lawyer: Ineffective
Famous Words: I do long for the day when every one of us on Earth can turn away from shallow, worldly desires, believing, rejoicing that our Lord will reward us in heaven. In the meantime a writer like yourself is in such a powerful position to encourage people to be virtuous. And that is why - please don’t be offended, Miss Austen - why it worries me that so many of your men of religion are figures of fun.
Why He’s Awesome: Plumptre thinks better of proposing to the niece of Jane Austen after he realizes that both she and the author are laughing at him. In their defense he is a ridiculous figure - a lawyer who is terrible with words and terrified of sin. (You’re in the wrong line of work, my friend.) But at least this way he won’t wind up as a character in one of Austen’s books. Literature has more than enough farcical lawyers in it already, thank you.
Want a consult? Find him in Miss Austen Regrets.